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We know how you treat your kid(s). We know what you say and how you act when you say it. We know this because we see them imitate you with other kids. When a title puts his hands on his hips, wags a finger in another kid’s face and says “you better straighten up or I’m’onna slap the shit outta you…” Well, we have a pretty good feeling she didn’t learn that from My Little Pony. Another harsh reality is that we can see how you create the exact behavior you don’t want: mom comes to pick up, “come on Junior, time to go.” Then she starts chatting up the staff. A few minutes later “Junior! Let’s go! Ugh! He never listens!” And continues chatting. A few minutes later “Junior…. Time to go.” Junior (wisely) ignores mom, since mom has trained him to do that. It’s happening right in front of our face right now, mom!

For bonus points, mom gets frustrated and title goes over to Junior to pick him up and carry him out. Junior runs! What a fun game! Catch me mommy! Haha! (For future reference: No. Stop. Junior come here. No? ‘Ok, I’m leaving. Have fun.’ Don’t stop. Don’t turn around. Don’t wait. As soon as Junior believes that you really will leave, he will come sprinting. Now do it consistently, so Junior knows you always mean it). Man, other favorite is the “I’m going to count to one… You better do what I say Johnny….Two… Johnny…come on…Two and a half… Two and three quarters… Two and seven eighths… Johnny don’t make me get to three! Two and fifteen sixteenths…” I learned this very important lesson via dog training twenty years ago: if you tell a dog to sit sit sit three times before you make him do it, you teach him that he is supposed to sit when you say it three times. Say it once, then physically demonstrate what you want. For a toddler, that means taking his hand or picking him up or redirecting him after you say it once.