I was born with a The Blueprint Shirt big strabismus, could barely see with that eye. Had 2 surgeries as a kid and ultimately the strabismus was not super noticeable… and still isn’t. I know it’s there, it sometimes gets a bit worse when I’m tired, but I look fairly normal. However I feel like literally everyone sees it. Most people wouldn’t notice it much if I didn’t tell them I have it. And if they notice it, they tend to say it’s cute and suits me. I wasn’t even actually bullied for it, even though I had to wear eye patches for the majority of my childhood, but it still impacted my self-esteem greatly. My eyes are my biggest insecurity, along with acne scars on my cheeks and my slightly receding chin – all of the things I have very little control over. I notice that I find it difficult to look into people’s eyes directly for an extended period of time due to this. My romantic life hasn’t been bad and I would consider myself rather attractive now, my self-esteem is also at its all time best, but… on the inside I am still that insecure little girl who feels worse because her eyes don’t work properly. I have some various health issues, but I can wholeheartedly say that this one messed me up the most, even though it doesn’t impact my “quality of life” that much. I hate having my pictures taken and I always look a The Blueprint Shirt bit to the side of the camera because my eyes look straighter then. It sucks. I could theoretically go for a third surgery to fix my eyes more, to maybe be able to see with both my eyes at once properly instead of having seperate images, but eh, it’s scary and I feel like it wouldn’t give me enough change for it to be actually worth it. Still, my experience was rather lucky, since I was surrounded by people who reassured my insecurities rather than bullying me, and I’m still insecure no matter what. I can’t even imagine what it must be like when someone bullies you for something like this.
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Ok this is going to be a bit of a The Blueprint Shirt. I apologise beforehand. My gender expression is a The Blueprint Shirt more obvious on this particular alt. And my profile has preferred pronouns on it. A couple of days ago – on a completely unrelated sub, someoneβs counter to a discussion I thought was being had in good faith was basically this – βYou canβt even decide if youβre male or female so donβtβ¦ β etc etc.. Every other week, I go through the process of scrubbing my profile just to obscure my gender identity a bit – just to avoid people sliding into my DMs. Iβve had people ask me extremely inane shit like βoh, are you into XYZ video game, I have never met another woman who plays.β And Iβve been called vile, sexist names for drawing boundaries with these kind of interactions. But thatβs just Reddit, right? Canβt take that shit seriously. You ignore and you move on. Itβs so much more jarring when you see this behaviour offline. Idk if this is even theThe Blueprint Shirt to discuss this. Iβm in a committed relationship cishet setup. Today, I pointed out to my partner how our family members β usually extremely gung-ho about celebrating the women in the family this one day β completely forgot their yearly tradition because it was also Holi. I was just lightheartedly pointing out just how their posturing has been completely exposed. All it took was another Hindu festival to completely knock off the annual βletβs appreciate our wives and mothersβ forwards. Holy shit, did that blow up in my face! My partner then proceeded call me bitter and mansplain why womenβs day is important. All this without an iota of the knowledge of the history of these celebrations! Didnβt even bother reading the token editorials and explainers on it. When I added some context, pointed out some of my issues with it (I neednβt list them, this sub has far better posts on that, Iβm sure) the only counter argument to my responses was to attack my rationality and mental health – βwhat is wrong with your headβ Just the sheer irony of this situation makes me cry-laugh. But it was lost on my partner. This man used to preside over MUNs in college?! So thatβs been March 8, 2023 for me, folks. π