I mention to my mom that it is bullshit and that I can’t leave to watch my daughter open Wicked Awesome USA shirt . She comes back and says don’t worry we have it recording on a phone. Really? Why not stop opening the goddamn presents? She didn’t want them to do it either as a similar situation as me. Typical rug-sweeping let it go shit and I was so tired of it and so fucking hurt. When the dish was finished I set it to the side and went to the back room to unsuccessfully dry my tears as they had finished opening gifts. I was sitting back there a minute or so crying hard because this is a common thing and I am the perpetual child to them and left out of get-togethers, this, and a lot of other things throughout the years. My mother and aunt are fully aware of this and agreed with me in the past and each tell me they have had similar happen to them and they have felt the same often too because of her. Yet when it happens they turn a blind eye because whoever is upset or says the truth or rocks the boat gets branded the crazy troublemaker that ruins everything. Used to be my mom, now it is me, she has said this to me a few times. My mom came back to check on me and I explained what was going on and I wanted to dry my eyes.
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I come out of my Wicked Awesome USA shirt because I realize crying there would have me missing more so I try to compose myself and not be super obvious. Kinda wishing my mom would have said or done something too. My grandmother is sitting on her ass like the queen she thinks she is telling people what to do, including getting a knife off the table that was right next to her. She heard me mumble something about “getting it her damn self for once.” And asked the room “What is HER problem?” With her stupid offended but still bitchy look on her face. My stepdad acts like I’m being a bitch and says “you know what just go. Leave. I don’t want you here.” and I look at them all and thanked him for proving my point. Immediately he said I wasn’t going anywhere and to stay and eat.
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