It’s specific to our family and not actually that valuable except maybe just as an antique. It’s technically oldest daughter (i.e., my aunt) but my grandma was holding onto it for mutually agreed upon reasons. But when she died instead of leaving it to my aunt who would have just immediately given it to her own eldest/only daughter, my grandma just bypassed her and gave to her eldest son’s eldest bio daughter (me). I’m okay with giving it up honestlysolely because of this: “My stepsiblings definitely already have a little more money than me even before this because they have money from other sources AND my parents, whereas I just have money from my parents. So for example my parents are putting the Welcome To Mars The New Colony Civilization Of The Next Generation Shirt amount of money into each kid’s college fund, but my step-siblings have their bio mom contributing to theirs as well. So redistributing feels a little weird in that light
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I guess you’re going to have to decide if you want to side with your racist grandmother or not. Yes, Grandma left you that money but she left it to you because Welcome To Mars The New Colony Civilization Of The Next Generation Shirt . Yes she left you that heirloom but it’s because she doesn’t view your cousins as actual family. If you keep the heirloom and the money, what will your adopted cousins think of you?Your parents want equality from grandmother, not equity. If you really consider step sister your sister give her the oldest granddaughter thing. And agree to keep quiet about the split. But keep the 20k, you don’t have a third parent contributing financially. NTA, even if you keep everything and told everyone, just outs your grandmother as one.I’m adopted. If I was promised a heirloom because I’m the first born grandson but then my grandmother gives it to the oldest biological grandson, am I won’t for concluding that Grandma didn’t consider me part of her family? If I learn that someone asked that cousin to give me the heirloom but he refused, would I be wrong for wondering if that cousin really see me as family?Like sure this stuff is technically yours but this has the potential to cause bad feelings that will last longer then your debt. Especially if you’re the only one to refuse or if you start a trend.
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