I think you are wonderfully self-aware, and smart and strong to be true to yourself. I have The Great State of Kansas Funny Missouri T-Shirt and I wanted them more than life, but I STILL feel exhausted and overwhelmed a lot of the time. One has special needs, but I think I would be just as tired if he were a typical child. Because kids do need you every second, like you said. I adore my boys but I completely understand why anyone wouldn’t want to have kids. It’s not a job you can go to in the morning and leave at night. It never ends. And even though I desperately wanted children, sometimes I’m so tired that I cry.
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If it makes you feel better, I come from a group of friends who adamantly do not want to breed. However, they are very good with my son, going as far to introduce hom to others as nephew. I’ve never really cared that they didn’t want The Great State of Kansas Funny Missouri T-Shirt (never really dawned on me until now that I never thought about it.) However, I do get the occasional “I just can’t believe you guys decided to have him”. Or the “it blows me away that the only kid in the group was a planned baby”. We laugh about it and then someone says “well she was always the ‘mom’ of the group”
It’s all in good fun but believe it or not the opposite is true.