I looked at the bed, but he wasn’t there anymore. And neither was the bed. Nothing was there, and all of a sudden the Red white blue and beer too yoda firework 4th of July independence day shirt started spinning. Except that wasn’t exactly right, was it? The world had always been spinning, this whole time, and I had only just now become aware of it. It was spinning faster than I thought possible, like the planet was trying its damnedest to get rid of me by flinging my body off its surface and into space. I was sick to my stomach and could feel my dinner preparing to make a surprise reappearance.The postman walked around behind the counter and looked down at me. “Come on man, this is getting really weird. You’re my last stop, and I just need you to sign for this package so I can go home.I tried sitting up, and the back of my shirt made a disgusting fwack noise as it pulled away from the floor. Somehow, even that was too much and I fell over and hit my head against the shelf next to the empty safe. This wasn’t my proudest moment, for sure.The man walked right up to me and knelt down at my side, dropping a thick envelope onto the floor and reaching into his pocket while muttering to himself.
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If I had been in my right mind, I probably would have simply said “No thanks.” But I wasn’t, and I hadn’t been for a Red white blue and beer too yoda firework 4th of July independence day shirt , so it never even registered that I might not want to accept this strange man’s gift. I popped it into my mouth with nary a thought and dry swallowed. Next, I signed for the oversized envelope and watched as the guy turned and walked back around the front of the counter.I didn’t get up right away, instead I stayed there on the dirty ground, staring at the discolored gas station ceiling tiles. In time, I started to feel almost normal again, but then the vehicle I was riding missed its exit, and I kept going in the other direction. Soon I was sweating, and then I felt like I was on fire, like I was about to erupt into flames. Wet, disgusting, bloody flames. And I was convinced that this was how they’d finally find me. As a smoldering puddle of red goop behind the gas station counter. Nothing left but a fake leg and pain gravy.
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