You do realize he emotionally manipulated you? He did the same thing to you, she did to him. Please get couples counseling in addition to him getting individual counseling. The next time she tries her mean girl BS, tell her and him the truth. You are already raising one actual child and refuse to raise or deal with 2 adult children. NO in person visits at this time. Drop the rope and DH needs to gray rock information about you to his mom. He needs to no longer use you and LO as a meat shield.Yes. Since i witnessed it first hand, I told him he was not going to continue to do the same shit she does to him to me. IF we are to move forward in our relationship as a couple, we’re to take couples therapy and individual therapy. He has a lot of underlying problems that were caused in his childhood into adulthood by his mother and he knows it and is afraid to face them let alone have a stranger tell him how it is.I am of the team that DH’s priority is NOT your daughter, but actually MIL, and Red white and blue cousin crew shirt has successfully convinced you that what is good for your baby is also what is good for MIL, when in reality, he is only pleasing MIL. He has failed as a partner and is failing in his duty to protect his child.
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Can I gently suggest you start the couples therapy ASAP? He needs to understand that he has failed in his responsibilities to his child (and his partner) by metaphorically setting them on fire to keep his mother warm. Your newborn’s health and safety was just dismissed because his mother cried about HER experience as a grandmother. You were treated not as a valued partner but as someone obstructing his mother from getting her way. That is going to breed resentment — maybe not today, but you will always look back at the first couple of weeks postpartum and be unhappy. (It’s been many years but I still seethe from my own first experience. Yes, I need more therapy.) The two of you need to Red white and blue cousin crew shirt get on the same page — the page you think you are on is not the page he is truly on once his mommy gets her say. I’m so sorry this is marring your time with your first precious baby. Give her some extra cuddles! (Also, just to validate you, the name thing has me vibrating with rage! I’m so sorry!Yes, i just asked him about couples therapy again and he’s going to look into it now that we have time. We’ve had so much going on with our house (plumbing and renovation) that we kinda forgot about couples therapy but it wasn’t intentional. Sadly, resentment is already there. Thank you so much for your kind words. Oh I am still in a rage over the name thing. She even went as far as to text me “the family and I decided this is going to be her name baby name. We’re all just so thrilled!” So I tell her, “thanks but we will decide what to name OUR daughter when she arrives.” Like, really?? I’m so freaking glad we live States away from her.
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