The bathroom door opened and the man who had been inside came out whistling. Number 1 Devin Booker Phoenix Suns signature shirt was no help, so I was going to have to assess this situation all on my own. Another judgment call, another great chance for me to get it all wrong. The whistling was getting closer, closer, until it was coming from the other side of the counter. I gripped the bat and stood up to see who it was.He looked up at the ceiling for a moment and said, “I guess it’s a pretty good question. I never really thought about it.” He shook his head like he was trying to get a bug out of his hair, then looked back at me with a smile. “Anyway, sorry it took me so long. Y’all miss me?”I could feel the tears streaming down my face as the words poured out of me, “I didn’t know where you’d gone and I thought you were dead. Everybody left me and I’ve been here by myself this whole time and I’ve killed people, Jerry, oh God I’ve killed so many people. It’s crazy how many people I’ve killedI didn’t even want to say it. I was so pissed at this moment, so tired of all the close calls and the hope that shows up just to disintegrate before my eyes. But there was something more than just the fear of death forcing me to continue, so I stood up, faced the man in front of me (if we was a man), and asked, “Jerry?
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I’ve run out of places to bury all of the bodies! The yard out back is like a litter box in a Number 1 Devin Booker Phoenix Suns signature shirt house! You can’t even start digging without running into things you don’t want to see. I don’t even know how I haven’t been caught yet! I have a box of wallets and guns in the cooler and they won’t even deliver pizza here anymore and the others all think I’m crazy.”We talked about this extensively. A couple bounty hunters showed up on my birthday, and I got tired of paying everyone off. This was your idea, remember? I go and fake my death so that my family leaves me alone once and for all. You said no communications until I got back, not even WhatsappI would have probably kept talking for much longer, but at this point I started hyperventilating. Jerry walked over, put a hand on my shoulder, and said, “Dude. Take a breath. Calm your tits. It’s going to be okay
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