You are very justified. You are being disrespected, your voice is not heard, your rules are not followed, your feelings do not matter. I don’t understand how husbands manage to have blinders on like this. He chose to marry you, have a child with you, bringing you closer as a La Dodgers On A Dark Desert Highway Cool Wind In My Hair shirt. You three are the first priority. His mother has been dismissive, and otherwise oblivious to you as a person since you announced your pregnancy!
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This is what kills me about many of the La Dodgers On A Dark Desert Highway Cool Wind In My Hair shirt. They know that their mothers aren’t going to change so they try to get their spouses to suck up to them so their lives are easier. Tell your DH that the only way you’re going to have a good relationship with his mother at this point is if he stands up for you. He needs to shut her down every time she complains about you, every time she disagrees when you’ve set a boundary, etc. Since you’re uncomfortable being with MIL without him, he needs to enforce that boundary and always go with you instead of wishing that you two were closer so he doesn’t have to go.