Did you all draw up a roommate agreement on what’s allowed, not allowed? I remember as an RA I spoke to my freshmen on creating a roommate agreement so that I am 10 times the asshole you could ever hope to be now run away shirt, and to encourage respectful discussion and negotiations. A lot of issues that could have cropped up were resolved with the agreement: You don’t like me playing my music out loud? I’m allowed to until 11PM, so long as it’s not super loud that would get the RA to yell at us. Too many guests coming over? I’m allowed up to two guests at once, unless we agree to an exemption for a single event.
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Having said that, it sounds like the roommate is handling it in the I am 10 times the asshole you could ever hope to be now run away shirt. Sorry girl but as someone with severe food intolerances that can make me very sick, I would never expect roommates to keep the kitchen spotless for me. I would take responsibility for my own damn health and wash utensils before I use them. I sure as hell wouldn’t freak out about meat juices which aren’t going to hurt anything but your moral sensibilities. And don’t even get me started on the rug. Black is ugly, yes. So what? It’s not like anyone is forcing you to sit there staring at it. Pick your battles better because that’s a really sad hill to die on.