In my mind, I was fairly convinced that Ellie and Adult daycare director ara the bartender shirt. The combat sequence made me unsure. Each punch or grapple in the prolonged back-and-forth fight scene was agony, waiting for something to give, waiting for the end to come, until finally Ellie pins Abby beneath the water. She strangles and begins to drown her, holding Abby’s head underwater as she flails helplessly. A moment passes. Another. And then it happens—a single frame of Joel with his guitar, bathed in porchlight, flashes in her mind, and she stops.
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Whatever you may think of what Joel did, he gave Ellie a Adult daycare director ara the bartender shirt. He was willing to sacrifice everything to do it, and if given the chance to do it all over again, as he tells her in our final flashback, he would make the same choice. For Joel, the loss of Ellie would be the loss of himself, but what Ellie realizes in her moment of clarity is that her loss of Joel does not mean she has to lose herself too. We are more than what we can do for others, and we have value simply in living our lives.